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Back from a late dinner at Kuma's Corner with music provided by friends Seventh Rule Recordings. I had an entertaining chat with L. while there and made tentative plans to meet next week for dinner and a show at The Note (one of Chicago's finest, Sweet Cobra along with San Diego's spacey Earthless). Tonight's therapy was thought provoking to say the least. I shared my need for independence-from relationships and the program especially. I've questioned whether or not my need to remain in the program is based on making my parents-especially my deceased father-happy, as if Dad himself is looking down and shaking his finger at me in disapproval. As I've mentioned, I've felt disconnected from the rooms for some time-before summer began and I didn't feel the same coming back to the city meetings. No, it's not the case of people "calling me on my shit" as it was so pointed out (the phrase "people in glass houses shouldn't throw stones" immediately springs to mind). Again, I've made mistakes; I've admitted as much, and yes there's certainly an element of embarrassment over some of my actions. I can't beat myself up over this crap anymore. I am moving on and doing so in a way that I'm comfortable with.

Is there anything wrong with just wanting to get out there and enjoy what life has to offer? I can certainly do so sober, and if I want to flirt to my heart's content, is that not my prerogative (no Bobby Brown, jokes!)? You're damn right it is.