Viva, etc.

I booked my flight and hotel to Vegas for next month, not exactly impulsively but nonetheless exciting as D. and I truly want this more than anything. We've done so much talking, clearing the air and purging any guilt that we may have had over the years. I listened and accepted and forgave and she did the same (I divulged everything, including the pregnancy). I can see in hindsight what I've missed in a relationship and I see that everyone I've been with has been compared to her. You know how when you're with someone and in the midst of sex you may occasionally think of someone else? I never thought of anyone else when I was with D. and she became that "someone else" much more than "occasionally" in each subsequent relationship. With D., I've never felt the urge to get up in the midst of dinner and leave out of frustration; I've never had to physically remove her from a doorway to so that I can leave and calm down. There has never a battle over control with her; she gets along famously with my friends and if left alone, she could make conversation and never gripe about being "marginalized".

In short, I've gotten back what I've missed over the past 2 years and I plan on making damn sure I don't make the same mistake again.