I need to think about getting motivated today. Getting my taxes done, for one. Then again, it's hard to peel myself off the couch when I didn't get home until after 3:00am. Last night, ZTS played waaaay out in Barrington, supporting a "horror rock" band that Precision has recorded and befriended. The two openers were friends of hours and didn't disappoint. I'd like to consider myself fairly open-minded when it comes to music, but I am hard pressed to find anything positive to say about last night's headliners. We played pretty well, I thought, and we seemed to win a few more fans over.
After my weekend with The Boy ended, I sat down with his mom and stepdad to discuss the changes due to take place. It was decided that L. will stay with them until early August, regardless whether or not their house is sold and they head to MN. He'll be flown up to MN and back one weekend a month once school starts and will be spending summer with them as well. As far as the living arrangements go, my days here in scenic Mayfair are numbered, and I will be moving up to Park Ridge, if not Des Plaines (possible condo offer through a bandmate) mid-summer.
Vegas' visit was brief but wonderful. So much so, that we've decided to give the relationship another try, visiting each other on a semi-regular basis until she moves back at the end of the year. In recent weeks, we've unloaded quit a bit on each other, overturning every stone no matter how painful. With all cards out, we realized neither wanted to run away and so here we are.
Saturday, March 15, 2008
Thursday, March 6, 2008
Overdue update
Here I am at 1:30 AM listening to The Warlocks when I should be sleeping-Vegas' flight arrives in 4 hours. We seem to be settling into a good place and she's treated herself to trip home to see me and her family. We owe it to ourselves to spend some time together.
Jesus, where to begin? I suppose I should start with the most significant news of all, that The Boy will be living with me permanently come June of this year. My ex's husband was given a promotion and an offer to run a pharmacy in St. Paul, MN and The Boy was given the choice on where he'd wish to live. He chose Chicago. Of course life as I have been living it will change-no more random shows mid week for one-and that's ok. I've wanted this more than anything and I've got the support of family and friends while I make the necessary adjustments. One such change will be a move out of the city, up Northwest to ideally Park Ridge as the public schools in that area are far better than those in Chicago. I'd love it if I can get into some sort of house rental situation or perhaps I can finally put a down payment on a condo of my own.
On the band front, things are getting better and better. We had our first out of town trek this past weekend (to Wisconsin) where I got my first taste of how the other guys'd behave. For starters, The Fin appears to be the band whiner; Lk the buffoon-came close to breaking his nose when he drunkenly woke me up just as I fell asleep. Earlier that week Precision and I were interviewed on Q101 which was not terribly awkward. More reps from Q101 were at last Friday's show at The Note and asked if we'd be interested in playing a local showcase, most likely at Metro. We'll see where that goes. The EP is selling briskly; 100 cd's sold out via online orders in just under 3 days. Guess we are on a roll after all.
Jesus, where to begin? I suppose I should start with the most significant news of all, that The Boy will be living with me permanently come June of this year. My ex's husband was given a promotion and an offer to run a pharmacy in St. Paul, MN and The Boy was given the choice on where he'd wish to live. He chose Chicago. Of course life as I have been living it will change-no more random shows mid week for one-and that's ok. I've wanted this more than anything and I've got the support of family and friends while I make the necessary adjustments. One such change will be a move out of the city, up Northwest to ideally Park Ridge as the public schools in that area are far better than those in Chicago. I'd love it if I can get into some sort of house rental situation or perhaps I can finally put a down payment on a condo of my own.
On the band front, things are getting better and better. We had our first out of town trek this past weekend (to Wisconsin) where I got my first taste of how the other guys'd behave. For starters, The Fin appears to be the band whiner; Lk the buffoon-came close to breaking his nose when he drunkenly woke me up just as I fell asleep. Earlier that week Precision and I were interviewed on Q101 which was not terribly awkward. More reps from Q101 were at last Friday's show at The Note and asked if we'd be interested in playing a local showcase, most likely at Metro. We'll see where that goes. The EP is selling briskly; 100 cd's sold out via online orders in just under 3 days. Guess we are on a roll after all.
Sunday, February 17, 2008
Every Day Is Like Sunday
I really need to get interested in doing laundry today, but looking outside, all I feel like doing is laying down on the couch and watching the Extras dvd I rented from Netflix. This morning's view has the look of...I don't know, just dread-like everyone outside is staring down at their shuffling feet as they struggle to get from one place to another, struggling to find the inspiration to interact with one another.
Headed to the Metro solo last night to catch Super Furry Animals. To the uninformed, take a pre-Soft Bulletin Flaming Lips and cross them with the Beach Boys and you'll get the idea. Compared to the extravaganza that was their last Chicago show, I was a bit underwhelmed, but I did read ahead of time that they'd be scaling back the stage show. Musically, they did their best to cover every album released since their debut in 1996 so the breadth of material was indeed vast. Support band Times New Viking seem to be riding some sort of buzz band wave as they've been mentioned everywhere. Maybe it was just last night, but their "lo-fi 'til we die" approach grew tiresome pretty quickly.
Friday night saw me playing in the South Loop again, this time with the mighty Pegboy. A. made it out (most likely because she didn't have to pay, hahaha), and having not seen her in close to 6 months, looked better than ever (that's a free compliment, the next one'll cost ya!). That night I'm sure I was way too critical for my own good, but I was not impressed with my performance onstage. Subtle nuances in certain songs were fluffed and I thought I ate shit on our last song, an 88FL "cover" (the irony was not lost on the fact that a very gracious Mr. Rise Against came out to the show). Nevertheless, I was stoked to get the chance to play with one of my favorite punk bands and look forward to our upcoming show at The Note on 2/29.
Vegas has been more or less in the picture for a few months now, and even more so the past few weeks. Call it nostalgia, or the fact that she heard the song I wrote about her, but she's come back in a big way. It's hard not to get caught up in the history of what made us so great without thinking of what drove us apart. Then again, why is it that we continue to find each other even after not speaking for several months? I hate thinking about that too much, so for now I'll just enjoy the ride, knowing at some point I'll jump out before hitting the wall. I'll be doing my best to keep the pining to a minimum (so far so good).
Headed to the Metro solo last night to catch Super Furry Animals. To the uninformed, take a pre-Soft Bulletin Flaming Lips and cross them with the Beach Boys and you'll get the idea. Compared to the extravaganza that was their last Chicago show, I was a bit underwhelmed, but I did read ahead of time that they'd be scaling back the stage show. Musically, they did their best to cover every album released since their debut in 1996 so the breadth of material was indeed vast. Support band Times New Viking seem to be riding some sort of buzz band wave as they've been mentioned everywhere. Maybe it was just last night, but their "lo-fi 'til we die" approach grew tiresome pretty quickly.
Friday night saw me playing in the South Loop again, this time with the mighty Pegboy. A. made it out (most likely because she didn't have to pay, hahaha), and having not seen her in close to 6 months, looked better than ever (that's a free compliment, the next one'll cost ya!). That night I'm sure I was way too critical for my own good, but I was not impressed with my performance onstage. Subtle nuances in certain songs were fluffed and I thought I ate shit on our last song, an 88FL "cover" (the irony was not lost on the fact that a very gracious Mr. Rise Against came out to the show). Nevertheless, I was stoked to get the chance to play with one of my favorite punk bands and look forward to our upcoming show at The Note on 2/29.
Vegas has been more or less in the picture for a few months now, and even more so the past few weeks. Call it nostalgia, or the fact that she heard the song I wrote about her, but she's come back in a big way. It's hard not to get caught up in the history of what made us so great without thinking of what drove us apart. Then again, why is it that we continue to find each other even after not speaking for several months? I hate thinking about that too much, so for now I'll just enjoy the ride, knowing at some point I'll jump out before hitting the wall. I'll be doing my best to keep the pining to a minimum (so far so good).
Wednesday, February 13, 2008
Caught in the grip of a sinking ship.
Yes, I titled my latest blog entry after one of my own lyrics. I get to do that because I am...modest. Tonight wrapped up 4 days of recording the first proper ZTS demo, and not a moment too soon as we play with Pegboy this Friday (an All Ages one at that-yay kids!).
Sleep has been in short supply as of late. I've been restless, but not too irritable or discontent. I am used to hitting the pillow no later than 1:00 AM on most days but lately have been drifting off closer to 3:00 AM, and in the case of this past Friday night, up until 5:00 AM. I'd love to know what's causing this.
Evidently M. and I are no longer friends. She's denied it had anything to do with my not wanting to explore a romantic relationship with her, but it seems like opening up to her about past relationships and my desire to want to mend fences with some of them was too much for her. Oh, and apparently I was supposed to be mad at whoever she was/is mad at. Sorry, I prefer playing Switzerland than to get caught up in yet another woman's petty drama.
Ok, forget what I said about not really being irritable or discontent.
Sleep has been in short supply as of late. I've been restless, but not too irritable or discontent. I am used to hitting the pillow no later than 1:00 AM on most days but lately have been drifting off closer to 3:00 AM, and in the case of this past Friday night, up until 5:00 AM. I'd love to know what's causing this.
Evidently M. and I are no longer friends. She's denied it had anything to do with my not wanting to explore a romantic relationship with her, but it seems like opening up to her about past relationships and my desire to want to mend fences with some of them was too much for her. Oh, and apparently I was supposed to be mad at whoever she was/is mad at. Sorry, I prefer playing Switzerland than to get caught up in yet another woman's petty drama.
Ok, forget what I said about not really being irritable or discontent.
Tuesday, January 29, 2008
Recording, Day One: Sometimes quickly, sometimes slowly
Tonight after work began the first of three vocals sessions for the proposed ZTS demo. I'd not been over to Precision's family's house in close to 9 years, when 88FL still practiced there. I'd been a bit anxious in the days leading up to the studio-the usual fears of thrashing my voice or the general insecurities surrounding the songs themselves. Are they that good? The difference between going over songs in the studio as opposed to belting them out in a live setting is striking; thankfully, it didn't take more than a run-through of the first tracked song to convince myself that this band is most definitely onto something. Tonight we worked on "The Will", written about my alcoholic bottom, as well as "Catastrophe Awaits", a song written in the immensely frustrating first few days of Autumn.
From this past Friday through this afternoon, I've been able to reconnect with some old friends in the program. The embarrassment of the past several months having subsided, I reached out and let such friends know I'd been thinking of them. I can't honestly tell you when and if I will ever walk into another AA meeting, but it's important for me to stay connected with people who came into my life and made it that much more rewarding.
From this past Friday through this afternoon, I've been able to reconnect with some old friends in the program. The embarrassment of the past several months having subsided, I reached out and let such friends know I'd been thinking of them. I can't honestly tell you when and if I will ever walk into another AA meeting, but it's important for me to stay connected with people who came into my life and made it that much more rewarding.
Sunday, January 20, 2008
My toes...dude, I can't feel my toes!
It is under the comfort of a warm blanket that I can report on the happenings of this weekend. AZB flew in Thursday afternoon and in the days-no, weeks preceding her visit, I began to feel that all too familiar emotion of anxiety. As I've experienced in the not too distant past, things with us developed via e-mails and phone calls, and knowing full well that I am in no frame of mind to handle anything serious (well, what I want I can't have), I reveled in the knowledge that someone thought so highly of me that they were willing to fly across the country to hang out for the weekend. What started off as excitement late last year turned to anxiety as I soon realized someone I barely knew was going to be staying with me for four days and three nights. I've come to really enjoy having my own time and this feeling of disruption really knocked me out of sorts.
Last Thursday I picked AZB up at the Montrose Blue Line and we headed back to my apartment so she could shower and we were soon out to Kuma's for dinner. That night, rather than brave the arctic outside, we watched Idiocracy. While the sleeping arrangements weren't necessarily discussed, I managed to pass out early on the couch-another winter cold kicking my ass.
The next day I invented a scenario in which I could have some "me" time, so I dropped her off at the Blue Line and ran errands (including much needed "zen time" at Borders). Some friends of hers had invited us to a party/jam session that night and as my "scenario" included an overnight stay, she stayed over there and I had the entire night to myself. It's only now that I realize what a fucked up decision that was. I wish I could have just said that I'd like to just stay in Friday night; you have fun drinking and smoking with your friends, but I didn't so I'm left feeling embarrassed.
After picking her up Saturday afternoon we headed back to the apartment and napped most of the afternoon before heading to D.'s house to load up the new van and head to the show in Hillside. Not a fan of The Brauerhouse I gotta tell you, but we played a great set (shitty monitors notwithstanding), and it was good to talk to an old bandmate and his not so little brothers after 10+ years. While there, AZB got a little...um, touchy feely so I made it a point to keep my distance in the hope that D.'s girlfriend could talk her ear off (mission accomplished!). Our night there had already ended on the late side and a few minutes down the road from the bar, we ran out of diesel fuel. As soon as we came to a complete stop, panic set in in the form of D.'s girlfriend losing her shit. She proceeded to tell anyone that would listen that her body cools much quicker than anyone else. Rather than ask what the medical name for this condition is, I kept quiet while the others were able to contact one of the opening bands in addition to flagging down a car for help. Eventually we were able to throw 5 gallons of diesel into the van and headed back to River Grove. After a quick cup of coffee, we got back home just after 4:00am where I took the bed and she, the couch.
Over lunch at Noodles & Company today, I apologized for being emotionally distant and thanked AZB for coming out. I also gave her the opportunity to express what she had felt prior to flying out and while here, an opportunity I freely admit to not giving to virtually anyone else in my life for the past few years out of fear of conflict. Maybe this was easy to do because she would fly home and I could choose not to communicate with her anymore. At any rate, we caught a 1:45pm showing of The Orphanage and hung out at Barnes and Noble before dropping her off at the airport earlier this evening.
Now more than ever, I realize that the problem concerning the women in my life is more my issues than anything else. As I used to hear in the rooms, it's all about progress, not perfection, and I am far from perfect.
Last Thursday I picked AZB up at the Montrose Blue Line and we headed back to my apartment so she could shower and we were soon out to Kuma's for dinner. That night, rather than brave the arctic outside, we watched Idiocracy. While the sleeping arrangements weren't necessarily discussed, I managed to pass out early on the couch-another winter cold kicking my ass.
The next day I invented a scenario in which I could have some "me" time, so I dropped her off at the Blue Line and ran errands (including much needed "zen time" at Borders). Some friends of hers had invited us to a party/jam session that night and as my "scenario" included an overnight stay, she stayed over there and I had the entire night to myself. It's only now that I realize what a fucked up decision that was. I wish I could have just said that I'd like to just stay in Friday night; you have fun drinking and smoking with your friends, but I didn't so I'm left feeling embarrassed.
After picking her up Saturday afternoon we headed back to the apartment and napped most of the afternoon before heading to D.'s house to load up the new van and head to the show in Hillside. Not a fan of The Brauerhouse I gotta tell you, but we played a great set (shitty monitors notwithstanding), and it was good to talk to an old bandmate and his not so little brothers after 10+ years. While there, AZB got a little...um, touchy feely so I made it a point to keep my distance in the hope that D.'s girlfriend could talk her ear off (mission accomplished!). Our night there had already ended on the late side and a few minutes down the road from the bar, we ran out of diesel fuel. As soon as we came to a complete stop, panic set in in the form of D.'s girlfriend losing her shit. She proceeded to tell anyone that would listen that her body cools much quicker than anyone else. Rather than ask what the medical name for this condition is, I kept quiet while the others were able to contact one of the opening bands in addition to flagging down a car for help. Eventually we were able to throw 5 gallons of diesel into the van and headed back to River Grove. After a quick cup of coffee, we got back home just after 4:00am where I took the bed and she, the couch.
Over lunch at Noodles & Company today, I apologized for being emotionally distant and thanked AZB for coming out. I also gave her the opportunity to express what she had felt prior to flying out and while here, an opportunity I freely admit to not giving to virtually anyone else in my life for the past few years out of fear of conflict. Maybe this was easy to do because she would fly home and I could choose not to communicate with her anymore. At any rate, we caught a 1:45pm showing of The Orphanage and hung out at Barnes and Noble before dropping her off at the airport earlier this evening.
Now more than ever, I realize that the problem concerning the women in my life is more my issues than anything else. As I used to hear in the rooms, it's all about progress, not perfection, and I am far from perfect.
Monday, January 7, 2008
Rules and regulations-phooey!
Starting out 2008 here at work with Big Brother putting blocks on some of more popular websites such as a certain networking site I, uh...frequent. I suppose it's for the best. In their not-so-infinite wisdom, they've also blocked Google. This of course makes perfect sense when you are researching locations for members/clients and you need to get more info. They've yet to block gmail, obviously.
Tried watching Thank You For Smoking last night, only to get through 30 minutes before the skipping/freezing took place. Thanks, Netflix! I drove out to the 'burbs Saturday to grab The Boy and meet D. for I Am Legend at the IMAX. Better still was the 7 minute teaser of The Dark Night. Sunday was nice and lazy, just the way I like to end the weekend.
Hoping to get in the studio and rock some vocals this week. We'll see what DP's schedule's like.
Tried watching Thank You For Smoking last night, only to get through 30 minutes before the skipping/freezing took place. Thanks, Netflix! I drove out to the 'burbs Saturday to grab The Boy and meet D. for I Am Legend at the IMAX. Better still was the 7 minute teaser of The Dark Night. Sunday was nice and lazy, just the way I like to end the weekend.
Hoping to get in the studio and rock some vocals this week. We'll see what DP's schedule's like.
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