Oh yes, it is official: effective August 1st, father and son will be in a spacious 2br condo in Park Ridge, not two minutes from the Metra stop and just over a mile from the jr. high The Boy will be attending. The couple I am renting from (their son technically owns the unit) are amazingly gracious, going so far as to suggest making payments on the security deposit as well as being incredibly understanding about my...er, less than stellar credit. They're also being kind enough to tweak the lease so that I can get the little man in district and registered for school in a timely manner. Commuting to work by train will naturally save me a shit-ton of money, though it may bring me home 30 minutes later than I'd prefer.
Roughly midway into The Boy's trip home. Monday and Tuesday, Precison, along with his girlfriend and her kids, took lil' man out and about. Today he will be home alone and yes, I'm worried slightly. Man, I need to relax-dude is almost 13! Thursday we'll more than likely head downtown for something and Friday is (nerd alert) the 2008 Chicago Comicon. I can't wait to play "spot the Klingon".
Mrs. B. was bumming over the fact that she'll be missing most of the Chicago summer festivals this year. While I'd love to take her to Lollapalooza and Pitchfork, she'll be back in time for this year's Hideout Block Party. How nice that will be-my beautiful wife with 0% drama (and no drama-induced migraines either!).
Summer 2008 is shaping up to be the best one on record. Whew.
Wednesday, June 25, 2008
Wednesday, June 18, 2008
Return
Here I am, back at the apartment and slightly restless. For someone who is not the hugest fan of change, it barely took a day for me to not only get comfortable sleeping in River Grove, but in no time at all this committed cat lover took to his temporary canine ward like a bee takes to honey.
Restless still as I know I will be ensconced in Park Ridge in just a few weeks and of course I've done nothing in terms of packing. Hell, all I know is that I need to be up that way; I'm still looking at places, including a 2BR condo for rent that I'll be checking out later today. I never did much to make my present apartment all that "homely", as anyone who's popped up here within the past year and a half can attest to.
My return Northwest should only be seen as a positive change. The Boy will be in a great school district, I'm still relatively close to public transportation (which I plan on relying on more and more for work), and hell, it's an area I am comfortable with.
_____________________________________________________________________________________
In lieu of his family's cancelled trip to SC, I'm flying my son home for a week. His plane gets in early Saturday morning and I think my ex believes I bought such a ticket intentionally so she would have to get to the airport at the ungodly hour of 5:30am. He is flying as an unaccompanied minor which causes no small amount of anxiety on my end, but I figure this will be the first of many trips from here to MN, and naturally his initial flight solo will be the most worrisome.
This Saturday is Day 2 of Taste Of Randolph and I'd very much like to catch Bobby Bare Jr. and Drive-By Truckers. Guess we'll see if we're up for it. A co-worker of mine has a place just a stone's throw from the festival and will most likely meet up with us.
With the Lollapalooza's schedule finally being released this week, I've run into little to no scheduling conflicts. Rather, the main conflict (Gutter Twins vs. Foals, Broken Social Scene vs. Battles) will be solved with the Foals/Battles aftershow at Double Door. Whew. Much as I love Explosions In The Sky, I've seen them already and I refuse to miss Brand New. So there. Oh, and RATM vs. Wilco? No contest-the AT&T Stage can have all the angst/beer-fueled boneheads; I'll be seeing Wilco, thanks.
Lollapalooza (and Pitchfork Music Festival for that matter) should prove to be a different experience altogether this year as there will be zero regrets concerning who I end my nights with. There will be no kicking myself for compromising when I swore I'd never go through that again, no nagging thoughts in the midst of temporarily satisfying companionship that I am making a colossal mistake. I am fully aware that in the midst of several thousand people, I will be reminded just how small of a city Chicago is, and that's fine. If I can run into my ex-fiancee after 5 years (as I did at the Mark Kozelek show recently), I can handle anyone. Who knows? I may just find the whole thing amusing.
Restless still as I know I will be ensconced in Park Ridge in just a few weeks and of course I've done nothing in terms of packing. Hell, all I know is that I need to be up that way; I'm still looking at places, including a 2BR condo for rent that I'll be checking out later today. I never did much to make my present apartment all that "homely", as anyone who's popped up here within the past year and a half can attest to.
My return Northwest should only be seen as a positive change. The Boy will be in a great school district, I'm still relatively close to public transportation (which I plan on relying on more and more for work), and hell, it's an area I am comfortable with.
_____________________________________________________________________________________
In lieu of his family's cancelled trip to SC, I'm flying my son home for a week. His plane gets in early Saturday morning and I think my ex believes I bought such a ticket intentionally so she would have to get to the airport at the ungodly hour of 5:30am. He is flying as an unaccompanied minor which causes no small amount of anxiety on my end, but I figure this will be the first of many trips from here to MN, and naturally his initial flight solo will be the most worrisome.
This Saturday is Day 2 of Taste Of Randolph and I'd very much like to catch Bobby Bare Jr. and Drive-By Truckers. Guess we'll see if we're up for it. A co-worker of mine has a place just a stone's throw from the festival and will most likely meet up with us.
With the Lollapalooza's schedule finally being released this week, I've run into little to no scheduling conflicts. Rather, the main conflict (Gutter Twins vs. Foals, Broken Social Scene vs. Battles) will be solved with the Foals/Battles aftershow at Double Door. Whew. Much as I love Explosions In The Sky, I've seen them already and I refuse to miss Brand New. So there. Oh, and RATM vs. Wilco? No contest-the AT&T Stage can have all the angst/beer-fueled boneheads; I'll be seeing Wilco, thanks.
Lollapalooza (and Pitchfork Music Festival for that matter) should prove to be a different experience altogether this year as there will be zero regrets concerning who I end my nights with. There will be no kicking myself for compromising when I swore I'd never go through that again, no nagging thoughts in the midst of temporarily satisfying companionship that I am making a colossal mistake. I am fully aware that in the midst of several thousand people, I will be reminded just how small of a city Chicago is, and that's fine. If I can run into my ex-fiancee after 5 years (as I did at the Mark Kozelek show recently), I can handle anyone. Who knows? I may just find the whole thing amusing.
Wednesday, June 11, 2008
Life in the 708
Four days into my ten day stay at Precision's place in River Grove. The dog and I have become fast friends and I am happy to report I walk the dog and not the other way around. Coming into work via I 290 East sucks (45 minutes one way; yes I've been spoiled by my 20 minute morning commute from my apartment) but it is only for the next week.
My wife may be moving back earlier than we thought possible if things in DuPage County work out. She may be back as early as mid-August (yes!). In lieu of this potential job with the DPC Sheriff, I've suspended the condo hunt and will most likely rent-again-for one final year. Afterwards I may-gasp-become a resident of DuPage County. Many things to consider with that choice.
Before The Boy comes back down from MN in August, D. and I have talked about taking our own vacation to NYC. I'd love to take in a show or two at McCarren Pool (among other things) and pretend I'm in Sex and The City (um...no thanks). If nothing else, an extended weekend is certainly feasible.
Life feels good when it's spent with those that take you for who you are.
My wife may be moving back earlier than we thought possible if things in DuPage County work out. She may be back as early as mid-August (yes!). In lieu of this potential job with the DPC Sheriff, I've suspended the condo hunt and will most likely rent-again-for one final year. Afterwards I may-gasp-become a resident of DuPage County. Many things to consider with that choice.
Before The Boy comes back down from MN in August, D. and I have talked about taking our own vacation to NYC. I'd love to take in a show or two at McCarren Pool (among other things) and pretend I'm in Sex and The City (um...no thanks). If nothing else, an extended weekend is certainly feasible.
Life feels good when it's spent with those that take you for who you are.
Thursday, June 5, 2008
One year ago-some perspective
One year ago I was a very angry man. I had basically walked out on what had turned into an incredibly volatile relationship. I had come to the realization that the woman that I had met just 3 months prior (and fell for pretty damn quickly) was not someone I was fit for after all. The differences, once refreshing, had left me distant. Rather than talk things out, I did what I learned to do in the years since my father's death-I bottled up my feelings, only to explode at a moment's notice. No amount of self help books or relationship retreats were going to save that relationship.
On May 16, 2007 I received some news at was basically thought of as "the worst possible time". Upon finding out she was pregnant (by phone while at work, though I'm sure she'd rather have told me in person), my entire body began to tremble and I headed to the bathroom where I promptly threw up. I didn't remember feeling this sick when my ex-wife told me she was pregnant (at that time, I remember being numb for a little under an hour; when it really hit me that I was going to be a father, I was thrilled). Almost immediately I entered some sort of self-preservation mode. I'm not sure if we were "officially" broken up at this point but I ran with that and rather than head over to the "ex's", I kept my concert plans with friends that first night. In the days and weeks following, I admittedly made some rather feeble attempts to check in, and anytime there was the slightest bit of conflict (which there invariably was), I got angry and ran out. How I managed a trip to CA with The Boy in the midst of this is beyond me, though I did manage to basically put the pregnancy out of my mind while there. That's a talent I am not particularly proud of.
One year ago today the pregnancy was terminated. I wasn't allowed at the hospital for fear of an outburst. Can't say I blame her. I can't begin to know what it's like to go through that procedure and the grief before, during and after, but I am sad regardless. Sad at the loss and at myself for not being strong enough to offer support, no matter how small.
On May 16, 2007 I received some news at was basically thought of as "the worst possible time". Upon finding out she was pregnant (by phone while at work, though I'm sure she'd rather have told me in person), my entire body began to tremble and I headed to the bathroom where I promptly threw up. I didn't remember feeling this sick when my ex-wife told me she was pregnant (at that time, I remember being numb for a little under an hour; when it really hit me that I was going to be a father, I was thrilled). Almost immediately I entered some sort of self-preservation mode. I'm not sure if we were "officially" broken up at this point but I ran with that and rather than head over to the "ex's", I kept my concert plans with friends that first night. In the days and weeks following, I admittedly made some rather feeble attempts to check in, and anytime there was the slightest bit of conflict (which there invariably was), I got angry and ran out. How I managed a trip to CA with The Boy in the midst of this is beyond me, though I did manage to basically put the pregnancy out of my mind while there. That's a talent I am not particularly proud of.
One year ago today the pregnancy was terminated. I wasn't allowed at the hospital for fear of an outburst. Can't say I blame her. I can't begin to know what it's like to go through that procedure and the grief before, during and after, but I am sad regardless. Sad at the loss and at myself for not being strong enough to offer support, no matter how small.
Tuesday, June 3, 2008
Random
The Boy will be heading up to MN this Sunday as his stepdad got the paperwork he needed. This means I'll get an overnight Friday with him, dropping him off on the way to my bassist's wedding Saturday afternoon. This extended time with my son means there's only two weeks until he's back here for a week while his other family heads to SC.
Tonight while celebrating my brother's birthday, there was a heated discussion involving the way he is perceived by his nephew. Evidently my bro has been bothered that my son seems to talk to him like he's someone on the playground and not as a nephew should speak to his uncle. I felt foolish and completely oblivious in the past as I just assumed my brother was "in on the joke". No wonder he didn't get a hold of me to catch Iron Man (hell yes) or the new Indiana Jones movie (aliens? Come on now.). This situation can and must be remedied when The Boy comes to stay for good.
D. will be coming into town in October to take a test for some work in DuPage County. If all goes well, she'll be back for good by the holidays though we do plan on living separately to give her daughter time to adjust and father and son to maintain their QT together. Still, having my wife in the same state will certainly be a relief. I am so fortunate that things have been going as well as they have been since the wedding. I almost wish I married D. years ago; it certainly would have spared me some of the indignation and drama of the past couple of years. That said, I do believe I needed to fuck up in order to grow and learn from such mistakes. I am a much better person having been through all that nonsense.
With a new hardrive installed in the laptop, I am back to downloading music. Recent findings have been the new Melvins, Oceansize, some old Seaweed, the new Hold Steady and Gemma Hayes. More downloading means less stops at Reckless (duh) as I attempt to pinch every penny I can to gear up for the move. I have my work cut out for me.
Tonight while celebrating my brother's birthday, there was a heated discussion involving the way he is perceived by his nephew. Evidently my bro has been bothered that my son seems to talk to him like he's someone on the playground and not as a nephew should speak to his uncle. I felt foolish and completely oblivious in the past as I just assumed my brother was "in on the joke". No wonder he didn't get a hold of me to catch Iron Man (hell yes) or the new Indiana Jones movie (aliens? Come on now.). This situation can and must be remedied when The Boy comes to stay for good.
D. will be coming into town in October to take a test for some work in DuPage County. If all goes well, she'll be back for good by the holidays though we do plan on living separately to give her daughter time to adjust and father and son to maintain their QT together. Still, having my wife in the same state will certainly be a relief. I am so fortunate that things have been going as well as they have been since the wedding. I almost wish I married D. years ago; it certainly would have spared me some of the indignation and drama of the past couple of years. That said, I do believe I needed to fuck up in order to grow and learn from such mistakes. I am a much better person having been through all that nonsense.
With a new hardrive installed in the laptop, I am back to downloading music. Recent findings have been the new Melvins, Oceansize, some old Seaweed, the new Hold Steady and Gemma Hayes. More downloading means less stops at Reckless (duh) as I attempt to pinch every penny I can to gear up for the move. I have my work cut out for me.
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