Leaving shortly for Schubas to catch Gruff Rhys, knowing full well I should probably stay in and catch up on some much needed sleep. It's been awhile since I've seen some good music live, the last show being Editors at the Park West 2-1/2 weeks before (ok, not that long ago). Looking back, that was probably the last night I was truly happy with A., the fallout being a few days later. Loving looks and arm scratching soon turned into more emotional shutdowns (certainly not the first time for me), combined with resentment and an all too strong of an urge to run like hell. I suppose I should thank A. for deciding that enough was enough; it became clear that I do not have the energy or the emotional wherewithal to maintain a relationship with her, and chances were pretty good that I would have made the call to end the relationship myself in matter of days.
This past Tuesday I met with someone who I am confident will be a great sponsor. It's clear that the less effort I put into my program, the more my life became unmanageable and with some "gentle prodding" from good friends, I finally made the call to ask for help (ok, it was an e-mail). Going forward, I will listen and take the suggestions offered to me and one day at a time, I will get back on track. Let's just hope I can keep the ever so powerful urge to isolate to a minimum.
This weekend brings me to Ulrich Schnauss and Airiel at the Beat Kitchen, as well as an overnight with Liam in lieu of my missing him the coming weekend. Sunday is Boris with Michio Kurihara at the Empty Bottle (really looking forward to this one) as part of Wire Magazine's Adventures In Modern Music.
...and my babbling blog has made me late for the show!
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