The inevitable confrontation (and other thoughts)

Remember my fear of shit getting ugly with my ex in my last blog? Well shut my mouth and call me Nostradamus, because that's exactly what happened earlier last week.

I e-mailed J. the necessary documents for her to sign, the Agreed Order as well as the Parenting Agreement and while I assumed she'd have questions, I didn't anticipate the blowup that it became. After her call to Liam (her first since he came back August 7th), she called me to tell me she had some "questions" about some of the provisions. Basically she began to raffle off all the reasons she was going to refuse to sign the documents ("I'm not paying child support when I have two other kids and don't have a client base built up at my new job"-I'm sorry, did that stop you from demanding money when I was out of work or working some shitty temp job?). To sit there and tell me she was going to refuse to pay support when I was now going to have The Boy the majority of the year was too much to keep in and in a second, 10+ years of frustration came out at once. I told her I'd go to court over this if that's what it came to and when she threatened to come down and pick him up, a week before the start of school, I mentioned she might not want to take him across state lines again as she never obtained a court order to take him to MN in the first place. All of a sudden, I was the asshole who didn't understand how hard it was for a mother to let her son go. Contrary to what others think (and really, like I give a fuck), I'm a pretty compassionate guy, but I unloaded onto my ex after that. For the better part of a decade I put up with her unwillingness to meet halfway on virtually anything, from dropoffs and pickups (after the first year, I always had to drive out to do both, and I can't count how many times I drove halfway to one location, only to be told they'd be at her in-laws) to her unwillingness to compromise when it came down to education-namely, when my son struggled, J. was always too buy to sit down with him and help. Oh, and attempting to ground him from seeing me when he misbehaved? Yeah, that was shitty.

When all was said and done, the docs were signed and faxed and the originals overnighted. I don't feel bad about the blowup because shit had been building for a loooong time and it was time for the ex to know that I wasn't going to roll over anymore. She can take her "trial run" with custody and shove it up her ass.

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Friday was the four year anniversary of losing Dad and in remembrance, The Boy and I, along with my brother and mom visited the cemetery, having lunch with our grandmother beforehand. I was touched when I found out my brother had routinely bought 5 roses at every visit to Dad's grave, one for each of us-myself, my son, my mom, himself and my middle brother who he has not spoken to since the wake. Kinda gives me hope that maybe, just maybe, they'll reconcile the petty shit that drove them apart in the first place.

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That same day I picked the car up; thankfully it did not need a new clutch after all, though it was tough to part with $500.00 for the repairs it did need.

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The more time I spend here in Park Ridge, the more I fall in love with it. Everything from the downtown area to the proximity of family (so far, so unintrusive). A few more pieces of furniture and I just might start having people over.