Anyone whose spent any amount of time with me in the midst of heavy traffic knows what a bear I can be. Leaving work tonight and beginning my 60 minute drive to Lincoln Square with some flooding, I had no choice but to yell at myself. Ok, so things didn't get that hectic, but when I realized that I wouldn't hit the Square by my planned 5:30 PM time, I felt myself tensing up. In the midst of of my drive, I was reminded of several conversations I had that day, mostly via e-mail correspondence. The phrase "it is what it is" repeated in my head like a mantra (ok, that was from yesterday). I know I don't handle things like conflict all that well, but I do the best I can at the time; mulling over it solves nothing. That isn't to say I should brush conflict off-the trick for me is to find that balance. At the same time, at what point do you stop hoping for civility and accept the fact that certain people should not remain in your life? I've certainly made as much of an effort as I can in sobriety to remain somewhat friendly with former girlfriends. With one or two exceptions though, I've found the majority of them to be distantly passively-aggressive (asking my friends if I'm dating anyone and/or warning their own friends not to date any of mine simply out of guilt by association isn't what I would call the mature thing to do, but hey-what do I know?). Am I that difficult of a person to deal with postbreakup? Apparently so.
Live and learn, my friends. Live and learn.
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I completely understand, it's so terribly hard to just forget that Tristan and I had even started talking, especially since after 11 years of being friends, he won't even call me anymore.I make myself not call him or message him everyday,and the battle isn't getting any easier.
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