Guest List

I moved into this one bedroom apartment in December 2006. My first "guest" up here later that month I'll call the Italian Princess, an old friend from the mid-90's who I was reacquainted with in December 2002 (on my first birthday sober and the day Joe Strummer died, no less). She even brought me a plant as a housewarming gift. This of course lasted barely two weeks.

At the end of 2006 and into 2007 I was visited by the future DLB, on what were primarily platonic hangouts; we never very good at keeping our hands to ourselves.

February 2007 comes along and is memorable for a variety of reasons. My first two "guests" (on separate occasions) were again old friends who I had coincidentally shared a mutual admiration with. That was fun. Later that month I met Veggie (as my co-workers coined her), and for the better part of the next 3-1/2 months she was the only guest up here, 3.5 months of the the kind of roller coaster ride that made you so nauseous, you'd swear you'd never ride it again (but ride it I did).

I can't recall any other visits in between the Veggie breakup and "reconciliation" that August, save for a surprise visit or two by her. Boundaries were crossed or blurred, choose your own term. Frustration, sexual and otherwise, played a huge role.

By late September, I was single once again and occasionally hooked up with a rather unstable woman-let's call her Red. That hookup was all sorts of dysfunctional-I made a conscious decision to stop going to meetings and she was in desperate need of more (note: contrary to the Vegan Blogosphere, these encounters-or any other encounter-never took place while in that previous relationship and unhealthy as the time with Red may have been, it never sank to the depths that the Sober Peanut Gallery alluded to).

One awkward visit from Seattle this past December made me realize that I was still searching for companionship just to have it. It was also at this time that some-hell all-of my repressed feelings for D. came back to the surface. She had set the bar so high during our relationship that any other woman I ended up with was destined for failure. Our talking began again in earnest right around Christmas last year.

Nashville paid a visit earlier this year and it was during her time here that I admitted-out loud and to her-that I was still very much in love with The Woman Now Known As DLB. The rest is well known to my loved ones.

I feel truly blessed today, and I am more than ready to leave this place. There has been a lot of selfishness, laziness (I never once had a family member over save for The Boy, though that was a favorite excuse to gain some free time last Spring and late Summer) and just plain negativity here but it has been my home for 1-1/2 years. I had plenty of Me Time here and though such time will have shifted in a matter of weeks with my son's (and subsequently my wife and stepdaughter's) arrival, such compromise is one that I am more than happy to allow.